[ARTICLE] Kim Hyun Joong: Missing My Mystery Man

After the Emotional Shock of Yesterday's Yahoo a Melancholy has Set in:  Struggling to See the Light at the End of the Proverbial Tunnel

My morning drive today was difficult and stressful.  A thick fog had set in while I slept, and I was running late for work.  I had to drive blind for a bit while my car slowly gathered heat from the engine to clear the moisture from my windows.  As I drove down the freeway, I could not see ahead like I can on a clear day and I nearly missed my exit.  When I finally saw the signs pointing to my daily destination, it was almost too late to get over in the lane to get off the freeway.  I made it just barely and arrived at work right on time, on the dot, not a second to waste.  That feeling of urgency and blindness made me think of the turmoil of emotions I have been experiencing ever since Kim Hyun Joong finished up his Phantasm World Tour and went on a hiatus from the spotlight in October of this year.  I have been missing him so desperately, and I have no signs pointing to the future ahead.  It is a feeling of fear and restlessness, straining for any sign of proof that the future I am waiting for will indeed materialize.  It leaves a lump in my throat the size of a boulder, and I struggle to hold back my tears.

To be brutally honest, I am very disappointed in Kim Hyun Joong.  Whether that disappointment is warranted or not, it exists.  I say this with all the love in the Universe in my heart.  I love him to pieces and back, and will never stop, but I am struggling to understand why he would not at LEAST submit a video to the YBA Awards Ceremony to acknowledge his Award.  I think the whole craziness that went down yesterday would have been easily avoided with that one gesture.  It is my opinion that YBA scrambled and fumbled and gave their 'split decision' presentation because they did not have anything from him to fill the time slot.  He was not present, his contender, Jessica, was.  She was there, so they decided to give her an Award to fill the time segment.  I am not justifying their decision at all, don't misunderstand me, please!  I am simply seeing the logic in it.  And, if I were Miss Jessica, it would be a hollow win.  She knows full well, just as YBA knows full well, that Kim Hyun Joong won that Title Best Asian Idol 2014 by a landslide.  600,000 votes give or take do not tell lies.  He is the best, and we gave everything we had to give that Title to him.  It is his, no contest.

My sorrow continues, however, because of the silence from Hyun Joong and Key East.  They have to be the WORST agency at Public Relations I have ever seen.  I would understand if he has been advised to stay out of the spotlight for the time being, but a video message would not have hurt anything, and it would have taken about an hour TOPS to film.  His genuine, sincere, honest 'Kompota' would have been a blessing to soothe our anxious hearts.  His bright, shy smile would have been balm for the raw, emotional longing we have been experiencing.  I am, sorry to say, disappointed and disheartened.  As I contemplate these emotions, the symbolism of this  morning's fog comes back to mind.  I was unable to see my path, but it was the same one I take every day, and so, even without seeing the signs, I knew the way.  

My walk with Kim Hyun Joong as my Idol Star has been my daily dose for going into my fourth year.  I may not see his beautiful smile in this darkened time, but I have been watching it every day, and so I know it well.  I watched so many videos and browsed through so many fan posts of new picture compositions and fan art cartoons last night.  I read comments about the happenings of the day.  I communicated with fans about my blog and even, to my surprise, found fans posting articles from my old blog sites @blogger and @wordpress!  I have requests to allow fans to translate some of those articles into Spanish and Chinese!  I am so thrilled the fans want to share my thoughts about Kim Hyun Joong in their own languages.  What an honor and a blessing!  I could not ask for anything more fulfilling than the Journey I have traveled with Kim Hyun Joong and the friends I have accumulated along the way!  I feel connected, loved, appreciated and purposeful.  There are no higher achievements in life.  I am complete.

For ten thrilling years, Kim Hyun Joong has given us all of himself, and he has given us each other.  That blessing will never leave us no matter how long we have to wait or how deeply we miss him.  As I think of the beautiful world he has created for us, I am content.  My disappointment dissolves, and I am ready to wait a lifetime to see him once again.  If Hyun Joong needs to hide away, recuperate, have a 'real' life even, I can not begrudge him that.  I heard a whisper of a rumor that he may be practicing with a live band currently in Japan.  Perhaps he has something special planned before he is out of our reach for 2 long years.  It would be wonderful to know what, but as I think back on my fond memories, Hyun Joong is always full of surprises.  He likes to wrap himself in a secret cocoon and suddenly pop out with a new project to make us happy!  I have all the faith in the world we will be seeing him VERY SOON!  Even though the future is covered in a mysterious mist, I have faith in my Only One.  He will bring the smiles to our faces and the warmth to our hearts once again.  In the meantime, we have so many memories of him, and we have each other with which to share them.


Blessings to all... thank you so much for being a part of my world with Kim Hyun Joong!


Love, 


Angie Noonim

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