I am going to start off by apologizing for the contents of this article to my Precious Kim Hyun Joong.  If you are reading this baby, you may want to just stop RIGHT HERE. If you are a fan reading this and are done hearing about the subject we are now so happy to leave behind us, Please, DO NOT click "Read More."  Just move on to something else, and come back when I publish the next piece.  I promise to be back to the loving, peaceful and gentle Eunie/Noona you know and trust. I don’t want to stir up things for you which have already been processed and released.  If you are intrigued, or may need to vent your own pain and frustration that you have been holding back, please feel free to continue and let me get it off our chests once and for all.  Big Sister has been holding it in, biting her tongue for the sake of her precious doengsang Hyun Joongie.  I fully intended to leave this article UNPUBLISHED.  Just a ghost in the archive of drafts I start when I am blessed with ideas for topics to be pulled out when I need to meet you here to share our Kim Hyun Joong.  This one probably needed to STAY buried, but I have found that over the last two days while trying to take a rest, release my emotions, and move forward with a positive step toward the future, I am unable to get this out of my blood.  I am agitated, irritable and unsettled.  So, I am going to let it out there.  I hope it does not hurt Hyun Joong or his fans.  I would never want to pick at the sores we are now nursing.  Please, forgive me for this uncharacteristically negative post.  I promise, I will be normal again tomorrow.  Here goes:  IF YOUR'E READY, Click 'Read More' Now...

My Inbox, Comment Boxes, Twitter Feed and Facebook are eerily quiet this evening.  Almost everyone seems to have been shocked into a stunned silence over Kim Hyun Joong's decision to come out with a full public apology on his Official Web Page.  In the carefully worded release, he takes full responsibility for his actions, and promises to reflect on his misdeeds.  He did not admit to any lies or misleading statements or validate his ex's previous versions of the Truth.  He simply appealed to the public not to blame his ex-girlfriend and appealed to her to please forgive him for losing his self control and deeply  hurting a person he once trusted and loved.  I have to admit when I first read the entire apology translated to English I felt my heart freeze up.  It literally skipped a few beats.  It was a cold feeling as if dread had seized me physically and I had to fight back the tears because I was at work.  I had a very busy and stressful day at work, and was unable to process any of my feelings until I went to my counseling appointment after work.  Yes, I still see a counselor, and I feel that fact is very relevant to the response I am about to share with you over Kim Hyun Joong's loving decision to relent to his ex-girlfriend, protect her and keep her from the public eye and issue this public apology.  Get ready my brothas and sistas in love!  'cuz I'm about to give a testimony on up in here!'  :)

A Wing and A Prayer by AngelJoong86

I feel like I'm choking and struggling to breathe
The thick air around me is starting to Seethe 
The sickly sweet stench of Evil fills the air
Suffocating my soul with it's Foul Breathing Stare
Sour Sweat, Stale Beer and Cheap Cigarettes
I'm gasping and struggling and Fighting for breath
Let me OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE
Let me breathe in FRESH AIR
Where the Sun is still Shining
A cool breeze ruffs my hair
The music of leaves rustling softly in trees
Refreshing and Peaceful I'm longing to see
The sweet smile of My LOVE
Let me hear her soft voice
Whispering my name, calling me out of the VOID

I am sick of DECEPTION, LIES and  BARE GREED!
There's a rope at my neck and chains 'round my feet
I struggle and fight, I want to be freed
Yet the Stones weigh me down
And in Hell's murky waters, I'm starting to drown
It seems that I've sunken in over my head
Where is my Hope?  Where is my Help?
Where are my Protectors?  Where are my Knights?
Where is Blind Justice?  Am I Alone in this Fight?

It's OK, My Love, You are Precious to me
It crowds out all 'else and allows you to 'just be.'
All my selfish desires to KNOW and be RIGHT
mean nothing at all as FEAR takes it's bite
Rest here in my arms with our memories of LOVE
Let these sustain you, BREAK OUT, Rise Above
Just Breathe.  It may feel like drowning but breathe deeply my scent
Listen to the warmth of my voice speaking softly in your ears
A gentle caress dries your cheeks stained with tears

Listen....

A rasp of a whisper becomes a soft rolling Hum
Like a Drum in the Distance, Thrrrum, Thrrrum
Draw Strength, Grasp Hope, Grab onto My Hand
Let me pull you back up, lift your chin up and Stand
Tall and Proud, Hold your Head High
We run through blooming fields and over the rise
You can hear them, they're chanting, you can hear their strong cries
Kim Hyun Joong!  Kim Hyun Joong!  They are shouting your name
They are waiting for you to take up your rightful claim
They are gathered far from the North, West, East and South
They are waiting for you,  your heart's Dream to Come True

From Every Tongue of Every Nation they have come to this place
An Aura of Beautiful, Colorful Light shines out from every face
Like Aurora Borealis so Bright in the Sky!  Your Breath is Taken Away!
Take up your Instrument and feel the sudden hush
The anticipated pause gives your Adrenaline a rush
It is YOUR DREAM, all your FANS and a Stage of Only One
No Ticket sales or Profits or Public Persona to sell
Just You and Your Bride, no Beauty to Hide
Sing out the first note and the tears will flow down
Our hearts swell and explode with the warmth of the Sound
Just Sing out your Heart and give us your Best
And with the Last Note, you can Finally  Take Rest
We'll catch you and hold you and gently fall down
And sleep with the Peace of a True Love that's Found
Rest in Your Soul and gather Your Strength
From the Ashes of Fire a Phoenix is born
Rise up on Strong Wings and Soar Ever High
Leaving Sorrow Behind as we sing "Fly, Angel, Fly!"

For My Angel, My ONLY ONE

Inspired With All My Love,

Angie Noonim

Although Kim Hyun Joong's Assault Charges have broken him and his fans to pieces, we are closer than ever before because we have discovered the true value of each other, and the true meaning of love.  To be honest, When I began writing this article, I got completely lost pouring out all of my frustrations over the distorted reports of Kim Hyun Joong's sincere and honest admission to his part in the heart sickening mess that is now the remains of  his short and stormy relationship with his ex-girlfriend.  I wanted to vent and give my own liberal interpretations of what I think actually happened since Hyun Joong is being such a Gentleman and only offering enough insight to give his version of the truth.  I am awed that he has continued to protect her in this way.  And truth be told, he should not be required to be more forthcoming.  What happened is a private matter, and his celebrity status does not negate that fact.  Because he has been forced to defend himself publicly, he was cooperative with the Police Investigation and admitted to the occurrence of ONE fight that ended with the two becoming 'entangled' after a physical confrontation.  The news articles have taken this and once again blown it wide open making it seem as though he has admitted to beating up his helpless girlfriend over 'women' issues.  Hyun Joong's only response was that the fight was about breaking up,  and it only happened the one time, not repeatedly as she claimed and the tabloid articles have been perpetuating.

After scouring for updates on Kim Hyun Joong's long awaited Testimony regarding the abuse allegations filed two weeks ago by his ex-girlfriend, I found only tabloid reports stating he had gone to the Police Station for questioning and had not made any statements to the media.  For that , I am thankful, as I am sure he is being advised by his Lawyer not to release any public statements until after his questioning is completed.  He went in on Tuesday September 2nd sometime in the afternoon or evening Seoul Time, and Police stated his questioning would probably last long into the night.  My heart is with him as he is going through this difficult ordeal, and I found myself praying for him at work this afternoon as it suddenly hit me that he needed that prayer right at that moment in time.

Is Kim Hyun Joong a girlfriend beating monster?  Never, in a million years, would I have thought this question would be asked by ANYONE, much less his loving fans.  I, for one, can't even wrap my head around the idea, much less ask myself such a dreadful question.  However, with the headlines and netizens going crazy over this question, what's a fan to do?  I cannot bring myself to believe for even one second that this incredible accusation could be true.  Is Hyun Joong really someone other than the beautiful, kind, gentle, loving young man we all believed?  Or is he a victim of opportunity and circumstance?  I am not sure we will ever know the full, unpolluted truth.

The recent allegations by his former girlfriend of a few months have hit the fans like a cruel slap in the face, and the fiery emotions felt only when someone you love and admire is accused of such a horror are overwhelming.  My initial response was posted as a comment on Laser Kim’s blog post where she poured out her feelings about this shocking claim.  I was emotional and VERY defensive of Kim Hyun Joong as I would be of any one of my 4 brothers.  I have been watching him for 5 years now and never once, would there be any indication of an abusive personality.