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[ARTICLE]:  Kim Hyun Joong:  Grace under Fire

8/25/2014

 

Fans are devastated as Unbreakable Gentleman Kim Hyun Joong stands accused of the Unthinkable Act of abusing his Girlfriend:  

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Is Kim Hyun Joong a girlfriend beating monster?  Never, in a million years, would I have thought this question would be asked by ANYONE, much less his loving fans.  I, for one, can't even wrap my head around the idea, much less ask myself such a dreadful question.  However, with the headlines and netizens going crazy over this question, what's a fan to do?  I cannot bring myself to believe for even one second that this incredible accusation could be true.  Is Hyun Joong really someone other than the beautiful, kind, gentle, loving young man we all believed?  Or is he a victim of opportunity and circumstance?  I am not sure we will ever know the full, unpolluted truth.

The recent allegations by his former girlfriend of a few months have hit the fans like a cruel slap in the face, and the fiery emotions felt only when someone you love and admire is accused of such a horror are overwhelming.  My initial response was posted as a comment on Laser Kim’s blog post where she poured out her feelings about this shocking claim.  I was emotional and VERY defensive of Kim Hyun Joong as I would be of any one of my 4 brothers.  I have been watching him for 5 years now and never once, would there be any indication of an abusive personality.

As I began to calm down and process my emotions, I read the comments on Laser Kim’s article and began to see things from a different, more objective perspective.  I still advocate that the claims can be nothing less than grossly exaggerated.   Admittedly,  KeyEast’s cryptic official statement has not helped Hyun Joong’s case much as it seemingly admits that the allegations are at least partially true.  According to the statement released to the media, the couple did have a fight that resulted in a physical confrontation.  The statement also clarifies the girl did receive an injury of fractured ribs while the couple was rough housing and playing around.  It further states she did not even notice this injury until a few days later.  

Since the official statement was released, further damaging evidence has been reported the the two were indeed dating for longer than a couple of months and the woman has submitted date stamped pictures and text conversations to not only prove they were together since 2012, but that Kim Hyun Joong admitted to hitting her and apologized for the abuse stating, 'I don't know why I did this.'  All I have to say to that is pictures can be misleading and text messages can be taken out of context to mean anything.  I would rather see all of the messages in context, as opposed to pulling out bits and pieces that prove her story.  A person's words can be misquoted and misused easily to make any situation seem plausible.
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Before passing any (further) judgments on the woman who is making the claim, I am waiting to hear Hyun Joong’s official statement after he is questioned by the Police.  I want to know his side of the story.  I did say some things in my comment on Laser Kim’s blog that I would like to apologize for if they came across as blaming the victim as some comments have pointed out.  I was emotional and defensive of someone I love dearly and may have come across as insensitive to this woman who is claiming she was abused.  As a victim of abuse myself, I can only say that if abuse did in fact occur, it is most definitely NOT ok, and I would expect Kim Hyun Joong to own up to his mistakes and do what is required to make it right for this girl.

That being said, I still hold my position of being loyal and faithful to Kim Hyun Joong as his fan.  Even if he made a mistake in a heated moment, it does not erase all the good he has done in the past.  Some comments I have seen accuse him of holding up a façade as the ‘good guy,’ and suggest his fans stop believing the fantasy he has created as his image.  I would counter that with a request of proof.  If Kim Hyun Joong is such an excellent actor that he has fooled his devoted fan base for going on 10 years,  why did the same antis accuse him of having such POOR and INCOMPETENT acting skills all these years?  Until Inspiring Generation, Kim Hyun Joong has been the recipient 0f harsh criticism for his acting, and only recently became acknowledged by the Korean Media  and general drama fans.
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If the image of a violent and abusive man were his true colors, I do not believe he would have been able to hide that for all this time, regardless of how good an actor he is.  Abusive men generally have issues with anger management or get caught repeatedly telling lies and half truths.  They are manipulative and charming and will give a person a general sense of untrustworthiness.  How do I know this?  I was married to a man who was like this.  He was not physically abusive.  His mental and emotional abuse took a far greater toll on my health, in my opinion, and I will be taking anti-depressants and monitoring my mental well being with a therapist for a while yet, even though we have been divorced for going on 6 years.  The emotional and psychological damage have caused me to suffer from physical ailments as well.  Migraine Headaches, Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia all aggravated by years of extreme stress.

I am generally regarded as a fair and objective person who sees both sides of any situation. This ‘shades of grey’ view often gets people up in arms who are ‘black and white,’ ‘good or bad,’ ‘all or nothing’ types.   I am sympathetic to this girl if she was indeed treated badly by Kim Hyun Joong.  If the charges are corroborated by his statements to the police, I will be heartbroken and disappointed.  If it turns out that he could not control his anger and got physical with her,  I will still love him with my whole heart and will pray that he gets help if the abuse charges turn out to be valid.  Until that time, I can only hold with my opinion of the person I have come to know by observing his ACTIONS which speak so much louder than words.  Kim Hyun Joong has always been humble, honest and a gentleman wherever he happens to find himself.  Countless fan accounts, news articles, and descriptions from co-actors and staff on the sets of his dramas and behind the scenes at his live shows tell the tale of a man who is grounded, centered, and down to earth.
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Granted, he is driven, a work-a-holic, and often stubborn when he wants to achieve a goal, but this does not make him an angry or violent person.  As I stated earlier, I can’t wrap my head around this accusation and hold to my defense of him until evidence proves otherwise.  The antis are stating that her hospital records and her word are all the evidence needed to convict him with their harsh judgment.  They have pounced on this negative portrayal like rabid wolves on a fallen gazelle.  Some of the comments are just malicious and unwarranted.    His fans are trying to surround him with their support, voicing their faith and trust in him, and are being attacked by these carnivorous packs of haters in a vicious manner.  It's as if they've just been waiting for something like this to happen so they could justify their animosity.  It's pathetic to say the least.

I say, this is a very serious and damaging accusation, and until both sides of the story are heard, judgment should be reserved.  Unfortunately, when allegations like this are made, it is very difficult for a man to defend himself.  What happened, happened in private, and only Kim Hyun Joong and his girlfriend kow what REALLY happened.  Because of the seriousness of the charges, I fear Hyun Joong will not be able to escape the situation without looking guilty.  The mud has been thrown, and Kim Hyun Joong has no choice but to wear it.  If he admits to the abuse, he will be discredited as a poser and a liar all these years.  If he denies it, people will still maintain that he is lying and paint him as guilty anyway.  It seems he has been cornered with no hope of reprieve.  It is my hope that he will be able to move through this hardship as he has so many in his past and emerge with the dignity and grace we have always seen from him
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And so, as a fan, where I am going to weigh in?  Just as I would for a dear friend or family member.  I want Kim Hyun Joong to know that I believe in him.  That if he did have a moment of weakness and admits to it, I will continue to love and respect him unconditionally.  I will not leave him to walk this path alone.  I also want him to know that if he says he did not abuse this girl and is, as I said before, a victim of opportunity and circumstance, I will believe him.  I have no reason to doubt his word.  He has always been truthful in the past, even when his image was on the line.  Granted, the stakes are much higher this time, but if I've seen anything in the last five years of watching him, he is not afraid to admit to his weaknesses and is always SINCERE with his words and actions.  The outcome remains to be seen, and I will still be at his side.

The Police have stated that the investigation is still not complete, and will not be until Hyun Joong has been given a chance to make his statement and tell his side.  I am anxiously awaiting his words.  I just want to know the truth. 

 "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered.  The point is to discover them." --Galileo
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    About AngelJoong:

    I've been writing about Kim Hyun Joong since 2011.  He is always busy and happy and I love to read about him and write my reactions and feelings about his work and his public life.  I want a place where Alien Family can gather and discuss their beloved, Kim Hyun Joong.  

    This site is a consolidation of my two previous blogs titled Angel of the East:  Kim Hyun Joong.  You can access these by clicking on @blogger or @wordpress tabs in the navigation menu.


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