Strange How Everything Comes Full Circle as We Live and Learn. Life Lessons and the Series That Started it All: Boys Over Flowers, Yoon Ji Hoo and Kim Hyun Joong.
I could not take my eyes off of him, and they have never strayed since. Somehow, I knew he was a kindred spirit, a beautiful soul. It was a spiritual connection through time and space before I ever knew any personal details about the real Kim Hyun Joong. It was just powerful. I am struggling to describe the intensity of the connection. It cannot be described, only felt. What has given me the courage to share it here is that others have experienced it too. I have realized that I am NOT crazy! I thought I was for a very long time, but when I started to blog about Kim Hyun Joong in 2o12, it became apparent that I was NOT the only one. For many others, Kim Hyun Joong had become the proverbial Only One, just like me. As I began to research about him more and more and write my findings in article after article, the initial blush of what seemed like just a crush began to deepen into a real Affair of the Heart. I was not just attracted to his physical beauty. It was a powerful, deep, complete and encompassing case of TRUE LOVE. I'm not talking about Eros, or passionate, romantic love. I am talking about Agape: unconditional, selfless, spiritual love.
KNOW. I can't explain it to them in a way they will understand. The only thing I can say is that people fall in love online everyday at dating websites and end up getting married. They may meet in person eventually, but they actually fall in love with the person through witnessing their words and actions before they physically meet them. It is similar in this way. There is something spiritual about heart connections that does not require a physical encounter. You can just know when a person is the same as you are on a heart level. It is called intuition and no explanation is really necessary. You just know. With Kim Hyun Joong, my intuition was only reinforced when I actually began digging for more information on him. Every article about his hi 5 fan meets and charitable activities I read and every interview and reality show I watched gave me renewed conviction and strengthened my initial intuition. As evidenced by his words and actions, he really was a kind, thoughtful, gentle, humble and beautiful person. It was not just a dream or hallucination based on the character he played as Yoon Ji Hoo. In fact, the real Kim Hyun Joong was even better, sweeter, deeper and more attractive.
Being in a toxic relationship can turn you into someone you don't recognize. I have repeatedly stated that I know this from experience. I hit my ex too. I had never been violent before, and I have not been since. I don't believe it was right of me to do so, but he asked me to, actually. He was punishing himself for hurting me, and in my moment of anger, I took the bait. After our relationship was finished, everyone around me, family, friends and even co-workers who did not know me before stated that they could not ever see me doing such a thing and that the relationship changed me. After I was out of it, they all stated their relief in seeing me go back to my gentle loving self. Things are never black and white. Unfortunately, a lot of people can't accept the grey areas and insist on Right and Wrong. All I have to say is you can't judge anyone until you have been in their exact situation. And no one will ever be in the exact situation as another person. It may be similar, but there are always differences, so we have no right to judge each other ever. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." If you are honest with yourself, you will just drop the stone in your hand and walk away.
Love until next time,