I wanted to talk about and explore the Love Connection between my heart and the heart of a young man I have never physically met.  I have never had the blessing of meeting Kim Hyun Joong In The Flesh so to speak.  I don't have the financial means to travel to any  of the locations he has been to around the world and I am a bit sad I have not been able to experience a live appearance.  I am sad, but my heart is not in despair because I have a spiritual love connection with Kim Hyun Joong that borders on the supernatural.  I don't have to be in his physical presence to feel that our Souls just 'know' each other.  Even though he doesn't know my face or my name, I still fully believe he receives my love and can draw strength and comfort from the meeting of our hearts.  We meet together every day when my thoughts and prayers turn to him.  I may sound like a crazy person saying such things, but I really believe in a metaphysical dimension where physical bodies are meaningless.  I believe that two people who have never physically met and perhaps do not even know each other's names or faces can meet, fall in love, and have a full and satisfying communion in the senses of their soul.

As I write this, I am realizing that recent events will not be able to be put to rest and completely forgotten as I wished them to be.  As we watch and wait for what will come next, they are now a part of our experience with Kim Hyun Joong.  Even though the memories are excruciatingly painful, and we are still hurting as we worry about the consequences, they have taught us to appreciate and understand him more deeply than ever.  They have taught us that we are capable of much more than superficial admiration.  We are capable of real forgiveness in the midst of our pain and disappointment.  Yes, I am disappointed that my sweet dear Angel lost his self control.  It has caused so much pain for everyone involved, his ex, her friends and family, and himself and his friends, family, and fans.  I could be seriously angry with him for making the wrong choice in the heat of that moment if I did not have so much love in my heart.  Was it only the ex that ruined everything for him?  Truthfully, no.  If he had kept his head in that situation, she would not have been able to do what she has done.  Technically, we could say it's all his fault to begin with and throw up our hands in disgust and defeat.   He has admitted to doing something a man should never do, and for some, that was reason enough to abandon him and walk away.

Kim Hyun Joong's Official Apology this week was like a huge stone being thrown into the still lake of our hearts.  After spending our strength and emotional energy showing him strong support through this stormy chapter in our lives as Idol and fans, it seemed shocking and abrupt.  However, in his wisdom, he has effectively stopped this whole nightmare cold in it's tracks. He resolved the situation with Honesty and Humility.  I have come to expect this from him after knowing him these years.  Honesty and Humility are his signature moves, and I identify with them well.  I am thankful that it is over, and I am thankful to Kim Hyun Joong for shouldering the whole mess and carrying it away like a 1 TON Gendong full of watermelons on his strong and steady back.  For taking that burden out of our sight, I applaud him as a Hero among Men.  He is truly wonderful and awe inspiring in the way he handles himself in times of personal crisis.  My heart is deeply touched and forever changed by his Brave Example.  Every step he takes draws me deeper into this surreal and beautiful bond I feel with him and my fellow fans, and I will never be the same.  Kim Hyun Joong is a daily inspiration to me and my heart is fused to his like steel upon steel forming the strongest, unbreakable sword.  He can never be cut out.  He will never be forgotten or replaced.  He has fulfilled his own prophecy and become our Only One for Eternity and beyond.

A Wing and A Prayer by AngelJoong86

I feel like I'm choking and struggling to breathe
The thick air around me is starting to Seethe 
The sickly sweet stench of Evil fills the air
Suffocating my soul with it's Foul Breathing Stare
Sour Sweat, Stale Beer and Cheap Cigarettes
I'm gasping and struggling and Fighting for breath
Let me OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE
Let me breathe in FRESH AIR
Where the Sun is still Shining
A cool breeze ruffs my hair
The music of leaves rustling softly in trees
Refreshing and Peaceful I'm longing to see
The sweet smile of My LOVE
Let me hear her soft voice
Whispering my name, calling me out of the VOID

I am sick of DECEPTION, LIES and  BARE GREED!
There's a rope at my neck and chains 'round my feet
I struggle and fight, I want to be freed
Yet the Stones weigh me down
And in Hell's murky waters, I'm starting to drown
It seems that I've sunken in over my head
Where is my Hope?  Where is my Help?
Where are my Protectors?  Where are my Knights?
Where is Blind Justice?  Am I Alone in this Fight?

It's OK, My Love, You are Precious to me
It crowds out all 'else and allows you to 'just be.'
All my selfish desires to KNOW and be RIGHT
mean nothing at all as FEAR takes it's bite
Rest here in my arms with our memories of LOVE
Let these sustain you, BREAK OUT, Rise Above
Just Breathe.  It may feel like drowning but breathe deeply my scent
Listen to the warmth of my voice speaking softly in your ears
A gentle caress dries your cheeks stained with tears

Listen....

A rasp of a whisper becomes a soft rolling Hum
Like a Drum in the Distance, Thrrrum, Thrrrum
Draw Strength, Grasp Hope, Grab onto My Hand
Let me pull you back up, lift your chin up and Stand
Tall and Proud, Hold your Head High
We run through blooming fields and over the rise
You can hear them, they're chanting, you can hear their strong cries
Kim Hyun Joong!  Kim Hyun Joong!  They are shouting your name
They are waiting for you to take up your rightful claim
They are gathered far from the North, West, East and South
They are waiting for you,  your heart's Dream to Come True

From Every Tongue of Every Nation they have come to this place
An Aura of Beautiful, Colorful Light shines out from every face
Like Aurora Borealis so Bright in the Sky!  Your Breath is Taken Away!
Take up your Instrument and feel the sudden hush
The anticipated pause gives your Adrenaline a rush
It is YOUR DREAM, all your FANS and a Stage of Only One
No Ticket sales or Profits or Public Persona to sell
Just You and Your Bride, no Beauty to Hide
Sing out the first note and the tears will flow down
Our hearts swell and explode with the warmth of the Sound
Just Sing out your Heart and give us your Best
And with the Last Note, you can Finally  Take Rest
We'll catch you and hold you and gently fall down
And sleep with the Peace of a True Love that's Found
Rest in Your Soul and gather Your Strength
From the Ashes of Fire a Phoenix is born
Rise up on Strong Wings and Soar Ever High
Leaving Sorrow Behind as we sing "Fly, Angel, Fly!"

For My Angel, My ONLY ONE

Inspired With All My Love,

Angie Noonim

Oh, my chest!  Why does it hurt so much?  Why do my eyes burn?  What is this!!!!????!!!!  Oh... WAIT!  That's my Angel Baby, Kim Hyun Joong, and who the HELL is that... half naked!!! WOMAN!?  Seriously, I did not expect to feel this way when I clicked play on the 'Your Story' video on Monday July 29th.  I was anticipating something like the Japanese version which was beautiful and heart felt and emotional and artistic.  When I saw this... oh.... I am still not breathing properly.  Breathe... breathe... breathe... calm... calm...watching him do such a mature make out session with clothes coming off and real kissing scenes and more clothes coming off and laying down on the bed and the muscles and the skin and the....panting... out of breath... can't watch...

Anxiety, Pain, Fear, Intensity, OVERWHELMING Pride.... these are the emotions I was processing in my mind with stinging tears in my eyes as I watched my Kim Hyun Joong carry nearly 1 TON of watermelons on his back while working in the Indonesian market on Barefoot Friends Episode 5.  I was so overcome with all the emotions I finally exclaimed out loud, " I really love this man right now!"  I had full confidence in him as the others in the market were looking at him with doubtful expressions.  As he continued to take load after load weighing approximately 69 kg each, (that's about 140 lbs for us Americans! probably not far from what KHJ weighs himself) their expressions began to change from disbelief to outright admiration.